istartedsomething

Before you turn you attention on to me, Long Zheng, the self-proclaimed king of istartedsomething.com, I would like to share with you the istartedsomething commandments - a collection of bullet points which summarize the purpose and underlying principles for this blog and my life in general.

1. I blog for fun, profit and the gals.
2. I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, unless persuaded by a lot of money (see rule #1).
3. I will happily oblige to all PR filtering requests if it ends with “pretty please”.
4. I try to break stories first, unless when broken by another careless blogger then I will innocently walk away and whistle.
5. I never make mistakes. Any mistakes are to be blamed on Microsoft or the dog I don’t own.
6. I expect no one else to blog except me. It only makes sense to have a monopolistic blog writing about a monopolistic company. You don’t want to break the universe do you?

I’m a person and stuff. Mostly person, sometimes stuff. Here’s a few questions that I would ask myself if I was speaking to myself in the third person, not that I do that often, but this is what would happen if I was forced to.

What sort of jokes do you get with your name?

“Long time no see” is by far the most popular.

How old are you?

I am 20 years old. I was born in April of 1988.

Where are you?

I used to live in Mulgrave, a south-east suburb of Melbourne, Australia. I now live in the rural south-east, in a region center called Hastings. I moved to Australia from China in 1997, when I was 9 years old. I grew up in Tianjin, China.

Where do you study?

I study at Monash University. I’m in the fourth-year of my Business Commerce and Multimedia Systems double degree. I am majoring in Marketing Communications and Multimedia Systems Enterprise.

From 2001-2004, I went to Melbourne High School, one of the best selective government schools in Melbourne. I’ve also attended Coomoora Secondary College and Wallarano Primary School before that, which for the most part was a waste of time. Water bombs during summer were the best.

Tell me about yourself

I am technophobic. Technology scares me. Every time I see a computer, my legs shake. I try to avoid technology whenever possible, and I publish this very blog from a typewriter and telegraph. STOP.

Whilst in school, I’ve passed literature subjects like a plastic knife through frozen butter and didn’t really enjoy mathematics or science. Thankfully in early 2000, I stumbled across the wonderful world of graphics design and became fascinated in the creative process of Photoshop filters. Of course, any beginner web designer would tell you Geocities and Frontpage are blessing of god, and I was no different. Then over the 4 years that followed, slowly I developed the skills and techniques required to create graphics and websites professionally, or at least I think.

Besides studying, I work at a software developments firm in Sydney, as well as on other obscure projects with friends.

Are you honest and unbiased?

No. Inquire today about my competitive rates for biased opinions and reviews, discounts available for bulk purchases. The posts on this blog are provided ‘AS IS’ with no warranties, and confer no rights. The opinions expressed herein are my own personal opinions and do not represent my employer’s view, my computer’s view, my house’s view, my dog’s view (and I don’t even have a dog), my Arch Nemesis’s view or the view from some place very high in any way.

Why do you blog?

I blog because I am passionate about the technology I come across, write about and evangelize to people. Technology is not the easiest topic to understand, especially with all the TLAs, so I’m here to read all those boring manuals, white-papers and patent applications when you have better things to do.

I’m totally doing this for the money and fame. No doubt about it. I’m literally swimming in money at your expense.

Let’s get in touch

Whether you’re a multi-million dollar company and would like to send exciting products for review, or just a long-lost friend who’s dying to talk to me, or even someone with a tip or insider information (confidentially out of the question), feel free to email me at long.zheng@gmail.com.

Please don’t ask me to post a link to your website. I will do so at my own discretion, but I am not a link advertising blog. Although that being said, everyone has a price.